


Stained hands

by sugarandspace



Series: Post 3x10 fics (written before 3x11) [8]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blood, M/M, Post-Episode: s03e10 Erchomai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 13:00:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17683946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarandspace/pseuds/sugarandspace
Summary: His hands are dirty. There’s blood on them, almost black in color but the color of rust where the smears have started to dry. It’s Alexander’s blood, and the reminder is enough to make Magnus gag.He’s scrubbing his hands under the flow of water, watching as the reddish water makes it down the Institute drain. A stark contrast against the white porcelain.





	Stained hands

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a bit ??? with this one but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

His hands are dirty. There’s blood on them, almost black in color but the color of rust where the smears have started to dry. It’s Alexander’s blood, and the reminder is enough to make Magnus gag. 

He’s scrubbing his hands under the flow of water, watching as the reddish water makes it down the Institute drain. A stark contrast against the white porcelain. 

The water is hot but Magnus pays no mind to it. He can’t shake the feeling of hot blood seeping through the gaps in his fingers, bubbling up like some sort of an unstoppable force. With each beat of Alexander’s heart a new wave of blood had made it to the surface, uncaring of Magnus who was trying to stop it with his now mundane hands. 

He turns the tap until the water is scalding. 

His jacket is in the trash next to the sink, its sleeves soaked and its hem stained. It smells like the fires of Edom and the blood of his Alexander and it’s a combination Magnus doesn't want to smell ever again. 

He gathers water to his palm and brings it up, rinsing his arms up to his elbows because the blood is everywhere. 

He needs more soap.

It’s cheap soap and he fears it won’t be able to take away the metallic scent clinging to his hands. The smell of desperation and fear and helplessness. The smell of Alexander dying. 

Maybe Isabelle would have ethanol in the laboratory? Magnus needs something that would make him feel clean, something that would burn away the feeling of dirtiness that seems to have seeped to his hands through the layer of his skin. 

He scrubs and shrubs and scrubs but it doesn't come off. 

His hands are pink and it could be from the water or it could be from the scrubbing but Magnus is convinced it’s from the blood. It has stained his hands and it will remain there long after he’s done washing them. 

It’s under his nails it’s in the lines of his palms it’s crawling under his skin. 

_ Magnus. Magnus. Magnus. _

_ Magnus. He’s awake.  _

Magnus scrubs and scrubs and scrubs until the words register. 

Alexander is awake.

But Magnus can’t see him now, not with his hands still stained with blood. He can’t leave the bathroom, not yet. 

So he scrubs some more taking more soap and lathering it all around his hands and forearms. He thinks about how it should take away the staining feeling but it doesn’t work - it doesn’t come away. 

There’s a hand on his shoulder.

_ He wants to see you. _

Magnus turns to look at his side and Isabelle is there, holding a paper towel towards Magnus and looking at him with sympathy. 

Magnus thinks for a moment but really, it’s been a lost battle ever since Isabelle said those words. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for Alexander and if he wants to see Magnus he’s going to see Magnus. 

The itch in his hands will have to wait. 

Magnus dries his hands that have gone all wrinkly, the rough paper feeling coarse against his tender skin. He drops the paper to the trash without sparing a glance at the jacket laying there. Then he goes to follow Isabelle, lifting his shaking hand up to his nose.

Under the scent of cheap soap he can still smell a hint of iron. 

He resists the urge to turn back and turn the sink back on, instead focusing on where they are going. To the infirmary where Alec is, awake, his blood once again going through the cycle inside his body. Uninterrupted and trapped - like it should. 

But Magnus knows that the phantom feeling of it will remain in his hands for a long while. 

**Author's Note:**

> [You can find me from tumblr too!](https://www.sugarandspace.tumblr.com)


End file.
